Choices

Character: the ability to carry out a decision after the emotion of making the decision has past. I could use some more of that. I mean, at times I am determined to do everything right. Love God, love myself, love and strengthen everybody else. This happens when I feel the Spirit strongly or when life is just treating me good. Then somewhere down the line these emotions will become weaker and other emotions and desires become increasingly important again. Eventually this results in falling back into old habits or leaving new habits behind.

Does it all come down to desire? Simply nurturing your desires for good enough to keep doing good? For the longest time I have wondered how to control desires. Or even more: how to start having a particular righteous desire. If I don't seem to have it in the first place, how can I nurture it.

I know it's natural to have desires for good and desires for evil. But how to make the desires for good the strongest I don't know. Sometimes I just don't want these righteous desires. And sometimes while making bad choices I realize I don't want to be doing those things, but I do them anyway. I guess that's all part of life and finding out what we're made of though. Something every person must learn, I don't think this is any different for me than it is for somebody else.

I realize all of this is still pretty vague. I guess picking the word rambling as part of my URL was a good choice :) I hope that by writing these thoughts down, it'll become clear to me what all my struggles are really about. I look at what I'm writing and think it may take a while...

Oh about my appreciation for the word to heal - I found another great word: Nantucket. Saw it on somebody's t-shirt the other day. I don't know, it just sounds nice when you say it.