Thirteen questions
Just some random questions:
1. Can SSA/homosexuality be completely overcome?
2. Is it necessary to understand where my SSA comes from before I can deal with it, or is it possible to just accept that I have these feelings and then deal with them?
3. Is it possible to deal with SSA without help from others? If not, where do I go for help?
4. Is being in a relationship before getting a better understanding of all of this going to be helpful or harmful (also thinking about the other person)?
5. What is the influence of acting out on my same sex attractions while dealing with SSA - do I start with obedience to the law of chastity, or is that something that can come later?
6. Should I seek contact with other people experiencing SSA or should I focus on good and meaningful relationships with straight people?
7. Should I focus on developing deeper relationships with women?
8. Are there any other issues I should address if I want to fully address SSA? What are they?
9. Is SSA a sexual thing or is it a matter of underlying issues?
10. Would I be able to develop heterosexual attractions towards women? (Can I change the fact that a woman has to be drop dead gorgeous before I'm even remotely attracted to her, while even an average looking guy immediately seems to attract my attention?)
11. Is the answer found in developing deeper relationships with men or maybe with one man in particular, and then finding out the nature of the needs that are met?
12. What can contribute to my motivation to deal with this (which ever way it goes) and not give up?
13. How will I know the right answers to some of the yes or no questions?
This is not a complete list. Some of these questions may become more specific in the future while others may turn out to be irrelevant. New questions will come I'm sure.
The answers to some of these questions may seem obvious. I put them here anyway because I feel I need to address them more fully and really make the answers 'my answers'. This will give me more motivation to actually do something with them.
I put down question number one because it is a starting point. The answer 'no' would basically result in a totally different set of quesions. The fact that I didn't write down those questions shows that up until now I have assumed SSA can be overcome. However, I realize I may not have given any other answer a serious chance. I need to internalize the answer to this question before going anywhere else. It makes question number one the first one to work on.
A more personal question I will have to ask myself: If change is possible, do I really want it?
1. Can SSA/homosexuality be completely overcome?
2. Is it necessary to understand where my SSA comes from before I can deal with it, or is it possible to just accept that I have these feelings and then deal with them?
3. Is it possible to deal with SSA without help from others? If not, where do I go for help?
4. Is being in a relationship before getting a better understanding of all of this going to be helpful or harmful (also thinking about the other person)?
5. What is the influence of acting out on my same sex attractions while dealing with SSA - do I start with obedience to the law of chastity, or is that something that can come later?
6. Should I seek contact with other people experiencing SSA or should I focus on good and meaningful relationships with straight people?
7. Should I focus on developing deeper relationships with women?
8. Are there any other issues I should address if I want to fully address SSA? What are they?
9. Is SSA a sexual thing or is it a matter of underlying issues?
10. Would I be able to develop heterosexual attractions towards women? (Can I change the fact that a woman has to be drop dead gorgeous before I'm even remotely attracted to her, while even an average looking guy immediately seems to attract my attention?)
11. Is the answer found in developing deeper relationships with men or maybe with one man in particular, and then finding out the nature of the needs that are met?
12. What can contribute to my motivation to deal with this (which ever way it goes) and not give up?
13. How will I know the right answers to some of the yes or no questions?
This is not a complete list. Some of these questions may become more specific in the future while others may turn out to be irrelevant. New questions will come I'm sure.
The answers to some of these questions may seem obvious. I put them here anyway because I feel I need to address them more fully and really make the answers 'my answers'. This will give me more motivation to actually do something with them.
I put down question number one because it is a starting point. The answer 'no' would basically result in a totally different set of quesions. The fact that I didn't write down those questions shows that up until now I have assumed SSA can be overcome. However, I realize I may not have given any other answer a serious chance. I need to internalize the answer to this question before going anywhere else. It makes question number one the first one to work on.
A more personal question I will have to ask myself: If change is possible, do I really want it?
posted by iovan at 3:26 PM
5 Comments:
wow, thats certainly a lot of questions. I've asked myself many of them several several times. Good to see you on blogger, I hope to see more of you.
Are you looking for people's opinions on the answers? I still share many of your questions, but I think I have some answers to a few of them--at least, I have answers that satisfy me. I don't know what they'll do for you. ;-)
L: The main reason I wrote down these questions is to help unclutter my thoughts. I figure I'd get more direction by asking myself specific questions than by going around in the same general circles that I've been in, help me move along instead of staying where I am. I can already see it working.
I really am looking for better understanding - insights that might help me along that way will be valued and greatly appreciated :)
I like your thoughts. I can feel your testimony.
If change is possible, do I really want it?
That my friend is the real question. This part inside of us is REAL and needs reciprocation to live and grow. I don't believe it ever disappears. I think a lonliness grows in its place. And our innate sensibilities as human beings drive us to fill that lonliness... every once in a while i'll meet a guy who reminds me of the void and that is when my sacrifice and the depth of this trial becomes a reality.
I often think about the scripture that says if part of our body offends us it is better to cut it off.
"Giving in" by filling the lonely void is much EASIER than "cutting it off" completely.
So WANTING to change or "cut it off" is the very very hardest part. I feel like some days I'm screaming "force me to the altar and take everything you want from me...cut it off"... but He won't because I have to WANT IT. I can't be taken, I have to SUBMIT myself.
TOUGH ASK.
But in the end, that is what godliness requires.
Nice to have you around.
Here are my thirteen answers. They apply to me and people I know personally. I'm not claiming they are of universal application.
Best of luck to you.
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