Friends, or more than that?
I've been wondering what the difference is between friendship and a relationship. Some people have told me 'sex' is the only difference. I think it is more than that. But I find it hard to seperate feelings I would have for a close friend and feelings I would have for a person I have a relationship with.
I think a friend is someone you hang out with and have fun with. But I think it is more than that. A friend is someone you share with. Good things, bad things. You support each other when things are rough. By sharing part of your life, you influence each other. You are willing to sacrifice for their well being. Your friends continue to look for the good in you even though sometimes they will see that you're far from perfect. You make an effort to unconditionally love your friends, even though you don't love everything about them. Their opinion matters to you and they also value your opinion. Friends help you grow.
When does this start to become more than friendship? When you're physically attracted to the other person? I think it is more than that. But I don't know how much more. Is it the amount of influence you have on each other? Your willingness to leave other things (and friends?) behind because you prefer being with this one person? When you find out you have many dreams and goals you have in common? Just a simple moment when you decide to make this person the priority in your life?
I am wondering if I put friendship right up there with a relationship, because I can be friends with other guys, but can't be in a relationship with one. A vicarious relationship if you will, lived through some really close (male) friendships that some might say go beyond the point of a normal friendship.
And if that is the case, how healthy is it for me (and the other person) to have such a close friendship...
I think a friend is someone you hang out with and have fun with. But I think it is more than that. A friend is someone you share with. Good things, bad things. You support each other when things are rough. By sharing part of your life, you influence each other. You are willing to sacrifice for their well being. Your friends continue to look for the good in you even though sometimes they will see that you're far from perfect. You make an effort to unconditionally love your friends, even though you don't love everything about them. Their opinion matters to you and they also value your opinion. Friends help you grow.
When does this start to become more than friendship? When you're physically attracted to the other person? I think it is more than that. But I don't know how much more. Is it the amount of influence you have on each other? Your willingness to leave other things (and friends?) behind because you prefer being with this one person? When you find out you have many dreams and goals you have in common? Just a simple moment when you decide to make this person the priority in your life?
I am wondering if I put friendship right up there with a relationship, because I can be friends with other guys, but can't be in a relationship with one. A vicarious relationship if you will, lived through some really close (male) friendships that some might say go beyond the point of a normal friendship.
And if that is the case, how healthy is it for me (and the other person) to have such a close friendship...
posted by iovan at 12:51 PM
2 Comments:
I think that we as Americans esteem friendships rather lightly, and that we don't really have that many of them, as opposed to other cultures who are just as bonded to their friends as they are to their own siblings.
I think a lot of us would be in a much better place if we could have friends that we were close enough to feel the same love as we feel for our siblings. But then, that's my take on things, and I'm obviously not normal.
I have similar questions and hate it sometimes - I'm still trying to figure out why I don't have many close friends in my local sphere and why some come and some go, and why some act certain ways.....it can be all confusing...but I agree, the american culture is definately less friendly than others.....but thats a generalization
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