Sacrifice brings blessings?

The other day I heard somebody quote Saint Augustine: Oh Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.

It made me smile. I feel like I am trying to 'overcome' SSA and deal with it the right way, and yet somewhere deep inside I don't really want to give it up. Not entirely. Not yet.

Coming unto Christ involves sacrifice. I know that maybe if we look at what lies ahead, it can't even be considered a sacrifice. And yet, being where we are, that's what it feels like. I feel like I am asked to give up the chance to love and be loved in the way love can exist between two people who commit to each other. But maybe there are other places to find the same intensity of love, now or in the future. And maybe I forget that God's love is the source of any other kind of love, and that all I have to do to find his love, is accept it.

I guess finding enough faith to sacrifice is a pretty universal theme, seeing how this Saint Augustine already struggled with it 1600 years ago...

2 months and still no title

I really should come up with a name for this blog...

The reasons I started it in the first place:
1. I came across AtP's blog, it being the second or third blog I saw I think, and loved it so much that I just wanted to tell him that. I had to. Unfortunately, his blog didn't allow anonymous comments, so I made my own. AtP, if you by any chance should read this, don't want to make you uncomfortable. I still think this was a good thing!
2. I've kept a journal for a while now and learned that writing helps me unravel my mind. Well, somewhat anyways. Having to find the words makes me think about what it is I want to say exactly. I've never written anything about being gay in my journal. My firm belief in Murphy's law makes me afraid that if I should mention anything about it, somehow somebody will find it lying around the house and read it, within 24 hours. How uncomfortable. It hit me that the safest place for my most private thoughts would maybe be the internet - only one world population watching basically! Ha ha, the irony....

Thing is, it has really helped me. I don't think I'm writing anything new, profound or interesting. I am writing my story though, and it's helping me to see things more clearly. Hopefully see them as they really are.

I continue to draw strength from reading other blogs. I've already commented on how much of a difference it's made to realize I'm part of a group. A sincere thank you to anyone who reads this.

Man, how did this get so serious again? You should read my other journal, it's pure fun and happy times :)

Anyway, I'll change the name of this blog when I think of something good.